England Traditions= Englitions.

This is a view of London from the London Eye at night. Was it worth $30 to go around in giant ferris wheel circles? Who knows? Partay!

A view from the eye.

It wouldn’t be a trip to England without a full English breakfast. As I mentioned in my Ireland post, a “full breakfast” is one that includes eggs, rashers (think a bacon/ham hybrid. WHY DON’T WE HAVE IT IN THE STATES), beans or tomatoes, black and white pudding, and sausage. After some research I found a place that the locals dine in: the Regency Café.

Breakfast blissland.

 

Fortunately Rachel has super-human navigating skills (Lewis and Clark ain’t got nothin’) and we got to this off the beaten track restaurant. It was a no frills place where you order at a counter and pick up your meal.

Where da locals is!

 

The woman who takes your order asks what you want in a sweet voice and when it’s ready, she announces it in a bellow that sounded like a fog horn mated with Ethel Merman. Needless to say, I was insanely impressed.

 

I got the full English with a side of bubble and squeak, which was pretty much a hash brown. The eggs were perfectly sunny side up, the sausage was full of porky flavor and had a great sear to it, as did the large serving of savory black pudding, and the beans had an amazing hint of sweetness to offset all of the hearty goodness that was surrounding it. Next time I’m in London I may make this place a daily occurrence; it was super affordable too!

So much protein. So little time.

 

Who can go to England and not go to tea? There is a difference between afternoon tea and high tea, the latter being a much more formal affair, so I went for the informal tradition.

 

After getting lost for decades, I finally found the Kensington hotel. Upon walking in, I wondered why afternoon tea isn’t a thing in the states. You get to take a break and eat some sandwiches, drink some tea, and people watch; DREAMS COME TRUE IN ENGLAND.

 

The interior was swanky but comfortable: hardwood floors, nicely decorated carpets, chandeliers, and intimate lighting. We were seated on a very comfortable couch and were served once delicious finger food after another!

Swanktastic.

 

To be honest, I don’t remember which teas I ordered, but I do remember I got 4 pots of different, fragrant teas. The selection was fantastic and the descriptions made me want to sit there and sip until I couldn’t sip no mo’.

Rachel. And tea!

 

The selection of sandwiches we recieved included roasted chicken with whole grain mustard, cucumber and cream cheese, smoked salmon with horseradish crème fraiche, egg salad with watercress, and roasted ham. Each had its own soft, spongy bread that  complemented the rich, savory meats. My favorite was definitely the salmon (I mean, come on; lox and horseradish?! Fuhgeddaboutid).

Why don’t all sandwiches come in stacks?!

 

On the side, we were served warm scones (plain and raisin) with clotted cream, lemon curd, passion fruit curd and strawberry and rose petal jam.  I’m ALWAYS a clotted cream fan, and their lemon curd was a great balance of sweet and sour. I didn’t know passion fruit curd was a thing, and I fell in love with the super sweet creaminess it provided; it was delicious paired with the lemon curd. The strawberry jam made me feel like I was spreading perfume on my scone, so I only tasted it in small amounts.

The scone zone.

 

For a palate cleanser, we were served gin and tonic sorbet. It was refreshing and had a great tang to it that got me ready for some dessert. Wait. I don’t need anything to get me ready for dessert, but it sure didn’t hurt.

Gin. Tonic. Sorbet. Brilliant.

 

The dessert tower (damn I wish I used those two words together more often) included dark chocolate mousse, a hazelnut and caramel pyramid, lemon tart, strawberry, lavender and lemon mille feulle (another name for a napoleon), cherry bake well (a pastry covered with jam and filled with an almond sponge cake), coconut panna cotta with passion fruit jelly, and blueberry cheesecake.

If I’m gonna dessert, I’d prefer it have more than one level.

 

My favorites were definitely the hazelnut and caramel pyramid for obvious reasons.  I mean it’s hazelnut and caramel.  In the shape of a pyramid. The bake well was fantastic and had a beautifully delicate almond flavor. The coconut flavor of the panna cotta matched wonderfully with the sweet passion fruit jelly. I could have eaten a few trays of these desserts.

 

Can we bring tea back to the states?  Great can’t wait so excited.

Also I went to Harrods and took a picture of the real life disney princess mannequins. Here’s snow white:

Where your dwarves at?!

 

When Irish Mouths Are Eatin’.

No Leprechauns, but a lot of food.

On my whirlwind European adventure, I was honored to be hosted by Clare, my roommate from college and Sean, her fiancée, who both live in Dublin, Ireland.

Dublin is definitely in the running for the top city I’ve visited. Maybe it’s because I had an insiders view since Clare was able to show me around, or maybe it’s just because the city seemed so accessible and homey, I had a blast and can’t wait to go back.

After my first whirlwind Paris day, I headed to the airport at night and took a quick flight to Dublin, where I was greeted by Clare, Sean, and drivers seats on the right side. MADNESS.

I picked up some awesome, insanely smelly cheese in the Paris airport; the three of us caught up and devoured it.

Smell=GROSS. Taste=AMAZING.

In the morning, Sean cooked us an amazing Irish breakfast. A “full breakfast” is a standard morning meal in Ireland (and England, with minor variations) consisting of eggs, bacon rashers (which are similar to a cross between bacon and ham. Oy. I die.), sausage, black and white pudding (a combination of pork products, oatmeal, onions, fat, spices and the black variety has BLOOD in it. Wooohoo!), tomatoes, toast (with some amazing brown bread that Clare picked up), tea, and usually beans or mushrooms (which we omitted). It is DEFINITELY something that will jump start your day. And your blood pressure.

Full Irish! Courtesy of Sean Bradley.

My first day, I headed to the Guinness Factory with none other than my friend Alyssa DiPalma, who happened to be in Dublin with the musical American Idiot; they were performing on a European tour and stopped in Dublin at the SAME TIME I WAS THERE. There’s nothing better than seeing a friend be a rock star on a different continent. I hope I get to write that sentence a lot more in my lifetime.

After Alyssa’s Show!

I’ll be honest; the Guinness factory was disappointing. We never actually got to watch beer being made. I repeat: NO ONE GETS TO WATCH BEER BEING MADE ON THE GUINNESS FACTORY TOUR. Why did no one tell me this?! It was made up for by the fact that the view from their top floor is absolutely stunning, and you get to enjoy a pint up there.

The one and only.

That night I experienced the fish and chips that dreams are made of. I would have never found Leo Burdocks had I not been with Clare. It was hidden in an alleyway, down a chamber of secrets and through a mystical wardrobe in a children’s room. It. Was. Delicious.

Give it to me, Burdock.

Where fish ‘n Chip dreams come true,

Outside they have a list of famous people who have dined there. Including “JUSTIN TIMBERLAKES PARENTS.” Surely this must be what it feels like to be a celebrity.

Celebrities such as Justin Timberlakes Parents. In quotation marks.

We grabbed seats on a staircase outside, so these pics look like they’re from tales of the crypt–I did I what I could!

They only have take-out as an option, so I got fish, chips, mushy peas, and a battered sausage. A sausage. That they batter. And fry.

The fish was crispy on the outside and so tender and flavorful on the inside. I asked for extra vinegar on mine and I’m glad I did. The tangy vinegar was a perfect compliment to the subtle, flaky fish.

Fish. Chips. Freedom. Happiness.

The chips were just amazing. To be fair, they weren’t the crispest fries I’ve ever had, but they were so rich I couldn’t stop eating them.

The mushy peas (which I think may be more British than Irish) were a little floral tasting—it was strange. I couldn’t figure out what spice was in there but it tasted a little soapy. Not that I didn’t finish them.

Mushy Peas. Acquired Taste. Sentence Fragment.

And the battered sausage? First of all, the sausage itself was beautifully cooked and tasty. Then they dipped it in batter and FRIED it. In their amazing, crispy, wonderfully seasoned batter. So unhealthy. So delicious.

Battered sausage. Phallic sausage.

Instead of the Jameson tour the next day, which I heard doesn’t provide an opportunity to watch them make Jameson (WHY?!), Sean and I took a train to Howthe and hiked . Me hiking is the greatest oxymoron, but I had an amazing time. Look at this view!

I mean, I’d go hiking a lot more if it always looked like this.

Not only did we see seals chillin’ in the Irish Sea (I think it was the Irish Sea. I was never good at geography), but we saw DOLPHINS. That’s right. There are dolphins off the coast of Ireland. Flipper would have been so much more interesting if they had brogues.

On this new hiking kick that would last approximately two days, the next day Clare, Sean and I drove to Glendalough in Wicklow, Ireland. Glendalough is a valley with a beautiful lake about 45 minutes outside of the city center of Dublin. It was settled in the 6^th century and has some friggin OLD and BEAUTIFUL ruins.

I should take pictures for soap commercials.

The not-so-secret garden.

This is what inspired scenes from the Lion King. Also i just made that up.

Glendalough! Too bad it was freezing. I would’ve jumped in.

I didn’t have time to look for the leprechaun at the end of this rainbow.

Afterward we headed to Avoca, which is a huge department store/food hall/magical land with handmade clothing and wonderful Irish goodies.

Some post hike eatin’.

We stopped off and I had steak pie, minted peas, beetroot salad and broccoli and feta. The steak was rich and the gravy full of Guinness. The herbs and light vegetables were a perfect complement—they balanced each other out wonderfully.

SO many foods. So much Irish,

I love me some salads.

The colors, Duke. The COLORS!

On my final day Clare and I strolled into the center of town, moseyed through the Irish Art Museum and enjoyed each others intercontinental company.

Irish drawing. SO MANY DETAILS.

Did I mention I model for Irish sculptures?

That night, I stopped in to a supermarket to get a crap ton of Irish chocolates. Chocolates in Ireland and England are like American chocolate, but the quality and interesting flavors are SO MUCH BETTER.

Saying goodbye the next day sucked, but I hopped on the bus to the airport and shlepped my way to London for my next European adventure!

Being Totally Fat in Brooklyn at Smorgasburg!

I don’t go into Brooklyn often.

It isn’t that I’m afraid of skinny jeans or really big glasses, but when streets stop having numbers and start having names, I get overwhelmed.

That being said, I got lost on my way to meet my friend Jamie (my co-foodie from tour) after she insisted we head to Smorgasburg at Brooklyn Bridge Park. I realized I had forgotten my passport before heading out and Jamie assured me that I was actually still in New York. Crazy!

Upon walking in, I decided that Smorgasburg is what heaven must be like: dozens of vendors offering up everything from beef jerky to merguez sandwiches.

Jamie and I decided we would try samplings from as many places as possible, so with $25 burning a hole in my pocket (I didn’t use all of it, by the way!), we went. To. Town.

To begin, we thought we should have a beverage to whet our appetites and aid in our indecisiveness.

It’s like the inception of logos

We each got a glass of kombucha from Kombucha Brooklyn. Kombucha is fermented tea which is definitely an acquired taste—it’s almost vinegary, but I’m a huge fan. Plus it’s full of live active cultures (and since it’s fermented, it can have up to .5% alcohol. WHO’S GOT TWO THUMBS AND IS GETTING WASTEEEEEDDD?!), ‘cause anything that is an acquired taste should be healthy. Except for cilantro. Ew.

We got the “Kevin Bacon,” which was flavored with orange and rose. The floral and citrusy notes matched beautifully with the tangy tea. A great beverage to stroll with!

Fermented tea goodness. Woohoo!

Jamie and I wanted to start with an appetizer sized portion, and what better food to choose than bacon?! Landhaus had maple bacon sticks.

Duh.

I saw the sign.

These sticks were skewered thick cut bacon, grilled and covered with maple syrup and a sprinkling of a spice mixture which tasted like it had some chili powder and paprika elements to it. A smoky, sweet, slightly spicy way to start off our day of eating.

Does this need a caption? It’s bacon. On a stick.

Our next stop was a place I had my eye upon entering Smorgabsurg: Bon Chovie, home of the whole fried anchovies. They take fresh anchovies, bread them, deep fry them and serve them with smoked paprika mayo and “pickled vegetables” (which meant some slightly vinegary slices of carrots).

Get it? It’s like Bon Jovi. But for fish.

We got them “Jersey Style,” which means with the head on (why waste ‘em?). The anchovies were fresh, clean tasting and fried to order so they were crispy and warm when they arrived. Jamie had slight trepidation about trying them but was soon won over by these fish-fries. Woohoo!

Breaded fried fishy goodness.

I’m going to be honest. We got the fried anchovies to eat while waiting in line for more food. We consumed that fishy deliciousness while waiting for some sweet-smellin’ brisket from Mighty Quinn’s.

In all of it glory. Its meaty glory.

There was a reason Quinn’s had the longest line at Smorgasburg; this was some of the best barbecue this side of the Mississippi (does that apply to barbecue? Who cares, I was in BROOKLYN, for goodness’ sake).

Ain’t that lettering pretty?

I ordered a “little” brisket sandwich (perfect tasting portion!) and I could have ordered another four of the large sized sandwiches. The brisket was smoky, juicy, and had a delicious, rich crust on it. It was topped with pickled vegetables, hot peppers, and finished with coarse sea salt. I also could have easily lapped up a bowl full of the barbecue sauce he poured on it. The eggy bun that it rested on was perfect for sopping up juices and holding in the brisket that was the perfect cross between tender and firm (I’m not a fan of my brisket completely falling apart).

I die.

Also, I saw the chef from the restaurant on Chopped (one of my favorite Food Network shows) the next day, so that was an added bonus!

Our next stop we wanted to cross the border. Ayayay! Just me? …Just me. We strolled over to La Casa de Camba and sample one of their salteñas.

I totally though that C was an L.

 

The best way to describe a salteña is to call it a Bolivian empanada. It is a savory dough stuffed with meat and sauce (though I believe they had a vegetarian option). To continue the meatapalooza, we got a triple pork salteña: a combination of braised pork belly, smoked ham, and pork shoulder.

Oh, we had that three way, ya’ll.

The crust itself was absolutely delicious; it had a hint of sweetness to me and was a perfect compliment to the rich sauce contained within (and their homemade hot sauces!). Let’s be real; how could that combination of porkiness be bad? It was rich, beautifully cooked, and had the perfect amount of spice. It was served with a crumbly, salty cheese that I had a good time pouring on top of each bite. Don’t tell anyone you know from Colombia, but in my eyes salteña > empanada.

Saltenastic. That sounds dirty.

Jamie and I hopped to the kiosk next door—Bite Size Kitchen– to try some bao. Bao is a steamed bun found in Chinese cooking, and can be stuffed with any variety of fillings.

My friggin’ phone case added that lovely blue hue.

I’ve had some unbelievable pork belly bao, so I decided to give this one a try along with one filled with duck. I must say I was disappointed in this one. The pork and duck were tender, yes, but lacked any distinct flavor, with murky sauces that didn’t complement the meat well. Onto the next!

A bao-nty of bao.

We may or may have not have proceeded to purchase several desserts. When in Rome! Brooklyn is near Rome, right?

We knew at the beginning of the day we would want a doughnut, so we decided to get a dessert while we waited in line for it (notice how cyclical this day has become?).

We walked by a stand called Whimsy and Spice that had interesting flavor profiles for cookies. After deliberating between a massaman curry peanut butter sandwich cookie and a hazelnut whiskey cookie, I went with the booze. Duh.

So many cookies. So little time.

The whiskey was stirred directly into the filling and not cooked for a more pronounced liquor punch. That being said, it wasn’t all up in my grill (in fact, I could have done with a little more whiskey flavor), and the chocolatey filling was a great complement to the huge amount of hazelnuts that studded this soft, chewy cookie. I’m definitely down with trying the peanut butter one next time!

Boozy cookie. Bookie.

Next to Whimsy and Spice was Kumquat Cupcakery, which had a maple bacon cupcake. I repeat: Maple. Bacon. Cupcake.

I hope this girl doesn’t mind being on my blog. Hi!

Unfortunately, aside from the small piece of bacon on top of this mini cupcake, I tasted no hint of maple OR bacon. Just buttercream. The cake was moist enough. Overall, it was a fail. At least it looked cute, I guess. I didn’t take a plane to Brooklyn for unpronounced flavors, though.

Little cupcake. Little bacon and maple flavor.

Jamie and I reached the stand for Dough having already finished our cookie (the best laid plans of mice and men, I guess) and it didn’t take much time to decide on the dulce de leche donut.

I want all the donuts.

This pillowy, fluffy cloud of fried doughliciousness was the perfect complement to the beautiful scenery (we took our confections and headed to a grassy knoll). It wasn’t too sweet, which worked perfectly with the caramel notes of the glaze. The sprinkling of almonds on it added a crunch that took this donut over. The. Top. I’m realizing I use a lot of words as sentences.

D’oh (alternate spelling)!

On our way back to the train, I decided I had to get a black and white cookie from a stand that was devoted to only that called Black & Whites by Lassen and Hennings. They were frosting them right then and there, so I asked if I could get an all white cookie; now before you call me a racist, I’m a vanilla fan, so why not have twice as much of what I enjoy? GET OFF MY BACK.

I figured out how to crop this!

This may have been one of the best (black and) white cookies I have ever had. The cake was spongy and soft, yet firm enough to stand up to the mountain of rich, creamy, not-too-heavy icing that topped it. I tried to not eat it all at once, but it didn’t make it through the day. Sorry, thighs!

Absolutely nothing about this is even remotely healthy.

Smorgaburg happens on Saturday as part of the Brooklyn Flea in Williamsburg, and on Sundays at Brooklyn Bridge Park until November 17^th. They happen rain or shine, so make it happen and go!

I took this. Thank goodness for instagram.